Monday, 20 June 2011



Now, I can swear that this is gonna be one of the most sensitive topics that I have dealt with on my blog. But, there are certain things which you can't avoid. You can't just ignore them!

And, the topic of girls is such.

The simple law of nature is the unity of the opposite sexes. Coitus, maithun or whatever you decide to call it. A boy falls in love with a girl and hence starts a joyride of life. They enjoy their time together, they emerge through problems and grow stronger all in the presence of each other.

The twist when it comes to us is that we never are meant to have such a connection with the opposite gender. No doubt in many cases a gay guy is the best friend a gal can have, and in many cases it's like the understanding which is worked out between the two surpasses the one between two girls. Yes, that can sound surprising to some but it's indeed true.

When I was in the ninth standard I used to be a very happy kid. Life was taking on new hues, and I was growing up as it was the beginning of a phase of transition. I enjoyed school, scored well in exams and topped my class, had a lot of friends.

Then POOF! appeared a girl out of nowhere who said she was in 'love' with me! lol.

She was a new student in our class, and was for some reason (which became evident later!) was ignored by every girl in the class. I was the class monitor back then and I used to feel bad for her. Come on, won't you too feel bad for someone who's new to a school and has no friends? So, when she used to ask me for my notes I would help her out anytime.

Slowly and steadily things started moving further. There used to be a group of girls in our class who were branded as 'bad girls' and they unfortunately weren't allowed access to the matters of the bright students. I had some friends among them..!

And one day, one of those BAD GIRLS came forwards and told me about the feelings of the girl who used to be ignored by all towards me. I took it as a joke as people rumoring such stuff was very common in our school.

Then Miss Ignored came to my home one day. My mom and my bro weren't at home and were out of station. I was with dad..! (Phew!) She came and stayed the entire evening with me. She expressed her feelings for me and I was like WTF!

I tried telling her that at our age it's very normal to have such upsurges which may appear to be love, and she seemed to acknowledge it all. But, it turned out that she didn't understand a single word of what I told her and she rather kissed me on my cheek before she left.

My my..! Without asking I got so much of attention!! Kiss? That too on the first meeting? From a girl?? Eww! I wish I could have avoided it all! But, alas I couldn't.

Later on, it turned out that she really was a mental case and had a knack of approaching a guy herself. Oh boy! Did I forget to mention that she used to gift me cards, chocolates and candies everyday? HECK, where does a guy enjoy all that? :O One of our common friends was shocked and she said that in our case the reverse of all that is accepted is in effect. Rather than the guy gifting stuff to the gal (which is widely the custom in India) the gal gifts stuff to the guy! I really need to thank my stars that she didn't figure out the "missing" element in the so-called, one-sided relationship!

Now it stays with me and reminds me forever that I am gay.


The Soap Operas

It's been a crazy year for me! Exams, travelling off to far off cities, returning and studying. The cycle never seemed to make me feel like it's gonna cease itself. And, to top it all I am not even done with it yet..! I have a long way to go!!

Anyways, I have decided to be more serious with my blog and to update it more frequently than I did before. And, starting this with a positive view in mind I bring to you a steaming, brand new post:


Yeah, they have seriously improved themselves a lot over the past two years. Ever since the change came in with the typical "K" factor going into the garbage bin, we Indians have seriously been blessed with some watchable, entertaining drama. Serious issues are now brought out into the open; they are dissected, discussed and dealt with in a proper manner.

Now, to put the icing on the cake and to provide this post a relevance to the blog I write, let me discuss the gay characters of Indian soaps.

We never were lucky to be blessed with gay characters. I agree that there used to be characters like MADDY in the popular show Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin (the desi remake of 'Ugly Betty'). But, those characters were never given a serious plot. Nor were they discussed properly. They were just laughing stocks of the viewers.

The first non-feminine, non-swishy and non-girly gay guy that we got to see on our Idiot Boxes through a Hindi soap was that of Shaurya in yet another cheap remake show Pyaar Ki Yeh Ek Kahaani. The guy who played this character was cute, and his plot was dealt with somewhat seriously. Sad that it ended soon enough before it even blossomed.

But the good news for the Indian gay guy is that a popular, bold soap which airs late at night in one of the best Hindi channels has a gay character. And unlike Shaurya, he is a main character. And his plot HAS TO BE DEALT seriously. They can't let it vapourise all of a sudden. The guy who plays the character of Gaurav, the gay guy (whoops, so much of G!) is actually a ruggedly handsome guy. I don't find him very appealing, but nonetheless he is sexy.

I am gonna enclose his pic in this post for you guys to feast your eyes on..! Have fun, and do comment on this earnest effort of mine..

See ya!

Friday, 8 April 2011

My land and its People.

As a kid, as a teen or whatever... Throughout my growing years, my love for my country and the people who are its inhabitants has always seen a rise. I have never ever seriously disliked anything about my motherland, except for one 'thing'.

You may wonder what I am talking about. Is it the diversity in our country which at times makes us fight among ourselves? Or is it that I am pissed by the government officials who are corrupted to the root? The poverty? Illiteracy??

Nah! To your question, I have a question in return which bears the answer you're looking for.

Is being gay such a big crime?

What is the only solution that parents can lay their hands upon when it comes to a situation where a father is hit in the face by the fact that his son's gay? Is taking him to a psychiatrist a solution? Is making an attempt to straighten him out a good idea?? Well, these questions are not to be answered by me for I have little to no experience in these matters.

Let's bring the society's angle in. Being gay is bad. Being gay is BAD! YES, being gay is BAD! What my brother told me one night when he came to know about my orientation was, "You can be anything you wish. You can become a murderer, a drug addict, a thief or anything. But, please...! Save us the humiliation and for God’s SAKE don't be a HOMO!"

Was it my fault that I was born this way? Or, was it my fault that I grew up to be gay? Or is it my fault that I prefer men to women?

The attitude that my brother and the parents/friends/relatives of many gay guys display towards this 'issue' is sure to make the gay guy feels that whatever may the situation be, the fault is ALWAYS his.

And.. I dare not talk about the religious side of this issue! Hmph..!

Saturday, 26 March 2011

GO! KILL yourself..!

Hi readers..! It's been long since I posted.

Exams are over. They are done with, and all I would say about them is they weren’t as bad as they could be! I feel like a loser. A loser who has lost everything, one who couldn’t be even average in one-damn-fucking field!

Now, I am wondering where I stand and where I am heading to! Life isn’t treating me well from the past few years. I have been steadily losing out on my entire forte and converting my weak arenas to strong ones is far from something which is possible. I have been in a relationship (screw you, virtual world!) and I’ve been going uphill to downhill, downhill to uphill ever since last December. 2010 didn’t bid a fair goodbye to me! :’(

Wish I had a magic wand! I would have waved it, and made all of my worries disappear. I know, the very idea is childish but when one experiences such extremes in his/her life alternatives like this are sure to crop up. May I too get a “lift”. May the almighty bless me, so that I score well at some field. I would be at least able to console myself saying that ‘Yeah... here’s something which you are good at! Keep working and you would be fine.” But ah! No such luck for me!

The image below expresses exactly what I feel..

Friday, 22 October 2010


Switch on the television at 11 PM on weekdays, and turn to Star Plus. The channel airs a show called "Kali" which is partially based on the Ruchika molestation case [The Ruchika Girhotra Case involves the molestation of 14-year-old Ruchika Girhotra in 1990 by the Inspector General of Police Shambhu Pratap Singh Rathore]. If someone says that what happened with Ruchika was something completely inhuman, and if Rathore is made to pay for his deeds in a befitting manner then we would be ensured that justice still exists in our country, I would definitely agree with the person and would wholeheartedly support the court's decision.

But, when these stupid media people and serial producers/directors mess up the whole idea of why a woman should be respected and what chivalry basically is... I just feel like smashing their heads off and making them scream that they were wrong. lol.

Seriously!! If a woman behaves very badly (like the lady who was taking a lot of footage in a local news channel by hitting her husband as he had an extra marital affair) matters need to dealt with a different point of view in mind. In my opinion, it was really right on the behalf of the woman to hit her husband, but to shout all the abuses and to repeatedly hit him in front of them camera was exaggeration.
It is not right if the law prefers women over men. Many findings of a commission show that 97% of the anti dowry cases that have been registered ever since the law was made till date, were false.

Those were only trials to make the in laws pay for no reason at all. Law is supposed to deal with everybody in an equal manner, but the Indian system has not guaranteed this. There are many takes on this situation. Some may call it a failure of the government, some may say that it’s just because the law makers are ‘brainless’ and yet, some may claim that it’s a change that has been ushered in with the new generation.

There have even been instances in my town where people have used some female relative of theirs to make false claims that one (the one against whom they want to cast revenge on) had laid his hands on the woman. A false rape case follows, and such claims are generally made on the Friday night which precedes a second Saturday and Sunday.

So, tell me don’t things need to be changed? And chivalry HAS to be pulled down?? Chivalry ko maaro goli, equality ka jamana hain!! :P:P:P I don't want to hit a woman or torture her, or deny her rights. I just wanna advocate equality for all, not only keeping females but even males in view as well.

I would like to add that things have to be, and need to be changed. The way gender equality's concept is dealt with in our country is not at all correct. Look at the logo of the National Rural Health Mission>> A girl child holding the hands of her parents. FUCK IT! "Hum do humare do" idhar kyun apply nahi hota, haan?

Ek ladke ko bhi chance de do toh badi meherbaani hogi, dearest government of India!

Confusions cleared!

Well, even though of late I have been posting a lot regarding Hinduism and Hindu gods/goddesses, I would urge my readers not to misunderstand me. I don't want to make people feel that if they belong to a religion other than the one which I discuss in depth, then they aren't allowed to read this blog or so.

It's just that I myself am very devoted towards certain elements of Hinduism, and however hard may I try I can't make myself get rid of this quality of mine. I hope that being a friend (or a dear reader in case I don't know you) of mine, you would understand my feelings.

Take care!

Lakshmi Puja!

A very happy and prosperous Lakshmi puja to everyone! I really want the Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity to bless each one of us today so that our lives get filled up with joy and all the worldly pleasures which at times are capable to sustaining a human being.

Of late, I have been very very attracted to the religious rituals which are performed during a puja. Durga puja of this year has passed away, and it's Sharad purnima today. This day is considered auspicious and is said to be the brightest night of the entire year!

Goddess Lakshmi is said to visit the home first which is the cleanest and where the most hardworking people reside. So, in a way this festival teaches us to maintain our houses, lives and every avenue where we set foot with utmost care. Special attention should be provided to relationships and family. Bad feelings shouldn't be allowed to accumulate in one's mind as they won't ever lead one towards progression.

Happy reading! And do leave me a comment, please..!